the ostentatious glory

>>This is a whole new friend who is cheerful, and full of crap here.. I simply love to meet new friends of many different interests and characters.! Friends are just so cool.! They form the basis of life, and serve as like-minded spirits who fill our empty hearts within.! Imagine living a life with no friends at all! That's gonna be so damn miserable.. So, if you're out there thinking the same way how i'm thinking right now, do come forth and be my friend!! Great friendship guarranteed. Nice to meet u!=)

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Thursday, June 22, 2006
Phased OUT..

Ok, that's the end of my flying training for now..

Flew my last flight, did pretty ok (i think), however still not satisfactory enough to convince Prithipal to move me on to the next phase, so he phased me out of the whole flying training right on the spot, with no second chances attached.

Well, i guess i would only have myself to blame. For not performing good enough, for not putting in enough effort, for being such a lousy guy.. Now James, are you happy you got phased out? You could have done better! Your destiny was in your hands initially! You big idiot!

Haha so this leaves me with only 2 CCAs left. Canoeing and NCC. Well i guess i'd better excel in both now. NCC will give me opportunities to further develop my leadership and more chances of making it to the Officer Cadet School (OCS) in my NS. OCS has always been my goal, being an army offficer for Singapore, and shouldering the responsibility of Singapore's defence. (Hmmm did i mention that you must go OCS if you want to become an Air Force Pilot?) Now, there's still hope in my aviation career. YES, EVEN AFTER BEING PHASED OUT.. I can still join the Air Force in my NS and then sign on as a pilot! Though the process and training are going to be much tougher...

Canoeing, shall build up my phyical fitness to top-notch and give me the capability to make it big in NS and OCS, and ultimately, my Air Force Dream..Haha.. So this shall leave me no excuses to "pon" canoeing training again from now on..

Hmmm, maybe it's fate. Maybe fate is it in such a way that i got phased out, so i can focus more on my studies and other areas which i have been neglecting.. Maybe getting phased out will bring me closer to good school results and better performance in canoeing too! Think optimistic.

However, i still remain pessimistic about my effectiveness as a person. So far, i have achieved very little, very little of the goals i have set for myself.. And after being phased out today, it really made me think twice whether i'm useful, whether i'm effective etc.. I aimed for 6A1s or more in my O levels..Yet i got only 4.. I aimed to be a master segeant in NCC when i was in secondary school, yet in the end, i end up with only a 1st Sergeant (though it was also largely due to my responsibility).. I wanted to be happy, yet getting into Raffles only made me sadder.. I had wanted to have a lasting relationship with somebody, yet she just walked out of my life a few weeks before prelims last year..

That's it..
Sigh..

Extremely Sad James
1737hrs
22/06/2006

5:23 PM
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